Real Vampires Hate Skinny Jeans (Guest Post and Giveaway US ONLY)

Saturday, April 7, 2012
 Today we are super excited to have Gerry on the blog. 
So we will not bore you with an intro, and now here is Gerry!

Someone is eating for two...
Full-figured vampire Glory St. Clair thinks things are finally going her way. She's no longer possessed by a demon, the legions of hell aren't on her tail, and her love life is heating up since she managed to reconnect with her maker-and longtime lover-Jeremy Blade.
When a pregnant demon shows up on her doorstep, Glory knows that everything is about to go to hell. Alesa is claiming that the baby she's carrying is Rafe's, conceived while she was inhabiting Glory's body. A clever trap? Or could it be true?
Booties and bibs are the last thing on Glory's mind when she discovers dark secrets from her own forgotten past. Who is she? What is she? And how will the men in her life deal with the fact that she may be more powerful than she knew? One thing is certain. Glory has way more to worry about than fitting into her favorite pair of jeans.

Gerry Bartlett confesses:

I don’t hate skinny jeans at all.

First, I love the title, REAL VAMPIRES HATE SKINNY JEANS. Yes, Glory St. Clair, the vampire in my Real Vampires books does hate skinny jeans because her hips and thighs are two of her problem areas—she was bloating when she was turned in 1604. But I don’t have the same figure issues Glory has. My legs are my skinniest part. Now go north of there and you hit chubby city. So I love skinny jeans and then put on some kind of loose top that covers up my bulges. What can I say? I’m not built exactly like my fictional heroine. I don’t have fangs either.

I do have something in common with Glory though. I have a weakness for great food. That’s why I have Glory wishing she could eat instead of sucking down her dinner. When I started writing about vampires I had to put myself in that place. What would I feel like if I was suddenly deprived of a Big Mac and fries FOREVER? Well, I can tell you, I don’t think immortality would win that contest. It would be a hard choice. I mean, do you ever drive pass a MacDonald’s and have to fight the steering wheel? The delicious smell! Another concern I had when I was imagining myself vampire was the loss of daylight. Now my daytime shows I could DVR, no problem. But how would you ever go inside a bank? Or be first for a one day sale? Okay so that last one sounded shallow. Maybe I should wax poetic here about missing a sunrise or basking in the rays at the beach. But I was never one to tan so I wouldn’t miss that. I mean, be seen in a bathing suit? Spare me.

So I’ll stop there. I could go on but then I’d just embarrass myself. I hope we can give away copies of REAL VAMPIRES HATE SKINNY JEANS to two lucky commenters this week. Any confessions you’d like to get off your chest? Would you like to be a vampire? Why or why not? I’m not ready for fangs but maybe you are. Share. I’m off to buy a new pair of jeans, but they do have to have some spandex. I don’t suffer for anybody. Not even to try to look cute. 

For More info on Gerry and her books go to

Giveaway is for 18 and Older. Ends April 14th. (see paragraph above on how to enter)


  1. I totally agree with spandex in jeans. How did we get by before without it? I would totally be a vamp. Fangs and all. It would make life more interesting, that's for sure. Thanks for the interview and giveaway!


  2. Hahahaha LOVE the title! I'm more of a Were person because i hate cold things and i don't want to be dead. And I've laid off jeans for a while because like Gerry my chubby central is my midsection and jeans just mush it up like jelly. Lol


  3. I so want to be a vampire. I dont want to get old, so do wish they did exist so I could track one down to bite me ;)

  4. Your titles are adorable - they make me WANT to read these books immediately!

    I'm not ready to be a vampire myself -- I'd have to lose a lot of weight first. And probably get a face lift. And no more food? I guess I'd have eternity to get used to it but it sounds like a rough adjustment period!

    dani AT daniharper DOT com (I forgot this the first time I posted!)

  5. I'm definitely not ready to be a vamp, either. No more chocolate? That just won't do! And I don't mind skinny jeans, but they absolutely have to have some kind of spandex, that's for sure!


  6. Do the confessions have to be about whether or not we want to be a vampire or not, just yet? or if we love or hate skinny jeans? Because I for one would love to confess to someone that I am officially freaking out over the possibility of being the ONLY female in police academy! Sure, there's pros and cons about being the only girl in the academy but right now I'm too focused on face planting it big time while trying to do pushups in front of a group of guys. *YIKES*

    But if I have to confess about if I want to be a vampire or not or if I like skinny jeans or not, I'll do that. Yes I'd like to be a vampire. And yes I like me some skinny jeans. But not the bright obnoxious colored ones or the ones boys are wearing. Sorry. Guys just shouldn't wear skinny jeans. I'm just saying. ;)

    Thanks for the giveawy!



  7. I'd like to be young forever, but I'm not certain about the whole blood and fangs thing.


  8. Staying this way forever sounds good, being able to read minds and all the other awsome stuff is crazy too and I don't really mind the blood thing lol Can't wait to read Glory's next book :)

  9. I think the thinking behind your Glory character is spot on. Not everyone would miss sunrise and sunsets, but we all have our little comfort foods that we would miss. I can't imagine living long past the people I love.

    This new installment sounds great. Thanks for the opportunity to win it.

  10. I agree with the title, I'm not a skinny jean person. Personally I would like to figure out how to make jeans look cute but be comfortable like PJ's.. especially for my full figure.
    I don't think I'd like to be a vampire. While I don't mind blood, I don't think I could deal with drinking it and I really don't want to live forever. A long time, yes, forever, no.

  11. I'm not a skinny jean person, and I think the only reason why I'd want to become a vampire is because then I would have eternity to read all the books that are always being added to my TBR list.

  12. Sure, I'd love to be a vampire, but I have to lose a little weight first. I'd hate to be stuck in a body I wasn't happy with forever. I like the immortal part and the hanging out at night, that's my favorite part of the day, and having lots of time to do all the things I'd love to do. I don't wear jeans, only the stretch denim ones. I like to be comfortable and can remember in my younger days suffering in tight jeans, so not fun.

    Barbed1951 at aol dot com

  13. I hate skinny jeans too! I don't like my clothes to be tight, it's soooo not comfortable. As for being a vampire one day? Ehhh...still not sure about that myself! It would have to depend which "vampire rules" I had to follow I suppose!!

  14. I would love to be a vampires if my soul mate was with me forever and I didn't have to drink blood. Please enter me in contest.

  15. I think for the most part I could deal with being a vampire. I tend to be a night owl anyway. And instead of tanning, I tend to burn, and being out in the heat during the warm months tends to make me sick. But I don't know if I could completely give up all my fave food and drinks. Now if becoming a vamp will make me young, healthy, etc.....sign me up. LOL
    manning_j2004 at yahoo dot com

  16. I wouldnt want to be a vampire- I dont do pale!
    great giveaway
    follow via gfc

  17. I've never worn skinny jeans and have no plans to! I'm already pale and there are definitely a lot of perks to being a vampire, but it would be hard to live forever if the ones I love couldn't do so as well.

    GFC: ML
    mljfoland AT hotmail DOT com

  18. I can say in all honesty that even if I COULD pull off skinny jeans I would not want to. My wardrobe is committed to comfort, not fashion! I can totally relate to the driving past McD's and the steering wheel wanting to turn in (I have GERD and can't eat fried, fatty, spicy, breaded, greasy, onions, garlic, tomatoes, citrus, chocolate, coffee... in other words, anything good)! The only way I would consider becoming a vampire is if it would resolve my health problems forever and I could then eat normal food in addition to a "liquid diet" and I already have the pale thing going on (not to mention that my hubby thinks I am a vampire because my steaks have to be rare)! Thanks for the giveaway!

  19. Hi Gerry! I love this series!! The fangs come out alot at my house ( I have a preteen daughter) so I'm not sure I'd want to be a vampire. But, I love to escape to Glory's world. It's a great vacation!!

    -Lisa Geggie

  20. No skinny jeans or fangs in my futur either. The only skinny jeans in my house are the ones my daughter wears and I'll keep the fangs in my books. Where they aren't scary but sexy.

  21. Forgot my email

    mmafsmith at gmail dot com

  22. I joke all the time, about being a vampire, but not sure I'm ready to give up food, it's too good. I joke with my friend that he is a vampire, and that keeps it interesting. I think skinny jeans are cute but have yet to wear them, I prefer Pajama pants. lnb1191(at)aol(dot)com

  23. This is a great series. Im pretty sure I am not ready to be a vamp. All the blood none of the cake, etc. Skinny jeans arent for me. Relaxed pair any day.

    bacchus76 at myself dot com

  24. I don't think I'd want to be a vampire, can't stand the sight of blood. I wouldn't be caught dead in a pair of skinny jeans either. To my idea, there are very few people who look good in them, I definitely wouldn't be one of them. This sounds like a fun book and I'd love to read it.

    seriousreader at live dot com

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