50 Shades Series

Saturday, March 31, 2012
I am not going to even pretend this is a review. I am just going to go on a mini rant about all 3 books in the 50 Shades series! If you haven't read them you may want to exit now. This will have some spoilers.


First of all lets just say I liked these books. I gave them all 4 stars. But I had a lot of problems with them too. I am kinda mixed about it myself. Lets go to a list of things I DID NOT LIKE

* Bath scene with a certain ex-sub
Christians psycho ex-sub comes to Ana's apartment with a gun. He comes in gets all DOM like on the ex-sub and kicks Ana out. Poor Ana watches these two together and is heart broken. Then to find out after she left he bathed the girl and gave her some of Ana's clothes. Then later when he couldn't find Ana he got UPSET!! This was all a big FREAKING HELL NO!! to me. That is just too much and crossed a huge line. 

*Ana gives Christian some horrifying news and he goes and sees his ex-dom. The women who started a sexual relationship with Christian when he was just 15 yrs old. The women who told Ana she was not enough for Christian, the women Ana HATES! And while Ana was home crying he went to see this women who he was suppose to not talk to anymore!

I didn't care that Christian had this colorful past with lots of women. I didn't care that he had a play room full of toys. I didn't care that he was a bit of a control freak. But I did not like his past always coming to his door step or watching him care for other women. These are the scenes that stand out to me because I was soo mad!! 

But I did like these books. I swear I did. Plus there was lots and lots of HOT SEX! I liked Christian and Ana together. But I find myself having NO IDEA how to review them. I can not think of anything to say really. I liked seeing Christian go from a DOM to a nice loving husband.When we start off Christian is that bad boy and very much in control, then in walks Ana and totally throws his whole world off. He gets into his first un-contracted relationship, and has some "vanilla" sex. The series is really about these two trying to find a middle ground. They love each other and have some HOT sex but its not easy.

Oh and seriously I HATE the freaking term "Butt Plug" Just its so gross sounding. (this word is mentioned a few times.) But I did take note to some of the fun things these two got into (but not the butt plugs.)lol I mean couldn't they name them something else. Who the hell thought up the term butt plug? We all know what a dildo is and we don't call it a vagina stick or something. Okay I am really sorry for anyone that has read all this. Moving on....

I am really glad I read these books. Because I honestly did like them, and I find myself thinking about the books often. I am going to miss them.I have no idea why they are hard for me to review, this happens to me now and then. But they brought out a lot of strong emotions and I really wanted to talk about them.

Have you read these books? If so tell me what you liked about them, so I can remember.lol. I know I really enjoyed them (obviously some stuff pissed me off) but they were still worth the read. Did I mention lots and lots of hot sex!! Because I totally remember that.lol


  1. Oh man, I NEED to give this series a read! Added to my to-read list ;)

  2. I haven't read them yet but due to Amber's strong reaction maybe I'm going to have to!

  3. I do not know why, but your post strikes me as amusing and I laughed. I got angry at Christian about the same things and your right about the name of that toy. (-;

    I am glad that I had a chance to read the trilogy before it all grew into a huge thing. I enjoyed the stories even the parts that got me angry because, heh, that means I was vested in the outcome. I really do not care what labels or comparisons that have been slapped onto these stories since then. They were good stories.

    My favorite scene that sent me scrambling to get the next book was the very end of book one. I was almost sobbing with Ana. I loved the confrontation with Mrs. R at the end of book two as well.

    Thanks for the post!

  4. Oh yay!! Someone finally comments on my butt plug rant.lol. It was suppose to be funny. I really did love these books, but I just found them hard to review. I think I was in a review slump but I still wanted to talk about them.

    They really are great though.

    1. Lol the butt plugs! My funny/disturbing moment were the fisting... no fisting of any kind. Hard limit! LOL

  5. To: Sawesome
    From: Miss Vain
    Subject: Fifty Shades of Kinky Fuckery

    Butt plugs!! Oh my!! You slay me Sawesome!!
    Great review!! I need to post my Darker and Freed reviews too!

    Glad you enjoyed them! :)XO

    Miss Vain your Awesome blogger buddy with Twitchy Palms :)

  6. To: Miss Vain
    From: Sawesome
    Subject: Butt Plugs

    Isn't that term just icky!! I mean there should be another name for it. And I love just posting and rambling and not being professional and writing about weird stuff. like butt plugs.lol Now that I said the subject is about butt plugs I feel the need to say butt plugs a bunch of times. I am probably scaring innocent people away right now.

    Oh and I forgot to mention how much I LOVED their emails.. I loved a lot about these books, but my poor brain could not review them properly. But at least I got to rant about butt plugs.lol

    ~Your Sawesome (butt plug hating) friend

  7. I read this after Vain and Cimmaron's prodding and i'm glad i did. At first i was hesitant because erotica isn't really my thing but i was pleasantly surprised on how this book turned out. Sure there were LOTS of sex but the story made sense and there was character development.

  8. and the fisting was an "OUCH" moment for me.lol Like that just seems painful!

  9. To: Sawesome & Braine
    From: Miss Vain
    Subject: Hard Limits

    So happy I could bring my friends over to the dark side with me! It's always fun if you're going to talk about butt plugs to discuss it with your friends! Fisting, fire, Canes, Whips and bathing nutty exes and evil Mrs. Robinson are all HARD LIMITS for me. But gorgeous, rich, BDSM, tortured, did I say rich CEO's can have me anytime as long as he's wearing his silver tie.

    P.s. I revieved an email today from EL James in my hotmail today, due to my obsession with 50, pleasantly surprised and excited! SQUEEEEE!!!!

    Miss Vain @ Miss Vain's Paranormal Fantasy braiding my hair, and stowing my twitchy palms! XO

  10. To: Miss Vain
    From: Sawesome
    Subject: Silver Tie

    Man I am sorry now I have a weird obsession to go out and buy my husband a silver tie.lol. But I would be a horrible sub, I won't even let my husband drive the car when I am around. Anyways moving on. But seriously that tie just looks all hot on the book cover.

    Also I looked at my blog stats and someone searched "50 Shades butt plugs" I can not help it, I am very proud they came to my site from that search.

    And I agree with all your hard limits!!

    ~Sawesome secretly stalking up on silver ties.

  11. To: Sawesome
    From: Miss Vain
    Subject: Mommy Porn

    Oh Wow!! I just love that someone searching for butt plugs found your site! Bravo for that! I get tons of searches in my blog stats for Christian Grey as well! Apparently he has quite a following of obsessors!

    So my momma informed me two days ago that the book trilogy I loved is being referred to as "mommy porn" I said yes, that is old news but would you mind not referring to it as that because, well....that makes it embarrassing for one and two, that takes away all of the excitement if we're calling it mommy porn... Right?! Let's just call it what it is.."kinky Fuckery"

    I think you should buy your husband the silver tie, but when he comes home from work and the kiddies are in bed, you should be wearing only the tie around your neck, and then you should be the Dom and he the Sub. I also cannot be a sub, however for Christian Grey, I'll be his sub anyday!

    Oh she thanked me for my review.....I can forward it to you because off hand I can't remember specifics lol!

    Laters Baby,

    Miss Vain @Miss Vain's Paranormal Fantasy secretly wishing I had a man to wear that silver tie for.....

  12. To: Miss Vain
    Subject: Book Porn

    I don't like Mommy Porn. It makes me feel like we all drive mini vans and it just sounds odd. (I know I am a mom but still I do not like) I like to call it BOOK PORN! That is what I call all my sexy hot yummy books!! So Book Porn is fine but no to Mommy Porn.

    And ooh the silver tie bit, that's very "Pretty Women" remember that scene? He would probably die of a heart attack.

    I have been getting a lot of searches for Christian Grey or 50 Shades, but the few butt plug ones, make me so proud. (yes if you haven't figured it out I have problems.

    (I am already missing these books now)

    Sawesome book porn loving blogger.

  13. To: Amber
    From: Cimmaron
    Subject: BUTT PLUGS

    You shouldn't knock something until you try it. Ask Miss Vain. She's quite knowledgeable about the butt plugs. I hear she's got a pretty hefty collection in her Pink Room of Pain.

    Later Baby,


  14. To: Cimmaron and Miss Vain
    From: Sawesome
    Subject: OOH SNAPPLES

    Miss V are you holding out on me? I had no idea about this Pink Room Of Pain??

    Sawesome your curious friend

  15. To: Cimmaron & Sawesome
    From: Miss Vain
    Subject: Butt plugs


    Sawesome, do not believe everything Cimmaron tells you, all that I have learned to use in my pink room of pain I have learned from her!

    Yes I do remember that scene in pretty woman, it's one of my all time favorite movies! I always sat that Christian Grey reminds me of JZB mixed with Richard Gere's character Edward (lol) in Pretty Woman not to be confused with Edward from Twilight!! HA!!!

    Miss Vain @Miss Vain's Paranormal Fantasy loving book porn with twitchy palms for Cimmaron spilling secrets!!

    P.s. I am linking you girls reviews on my FF post tonight!! Hehehe

  16. To: Miss Vain
    From: Sawesome
    Subject: Piano

    Hey in Pretty Women they also got it on on a piano like Christian and Ana did. Crap now along with silver ties I want a piano.lol This book is making a pervert out of me.

    Sawesome is now terrified of waxing after our twitter talk last night.

  17. To: Sawesome
    From: Miss Vain
    Subject: Your perverted ways

    Hey I remember that scene and the first time I saw that movie I think I was in 4th grade and my uncle stood up in the theater and said to my aunt and my mother, we took our kids to see a flick about a prostitute and my mother covered my eyes....we were quite young to go see that movie...Maybe my mother didn't have a baby sitter since she was a stay at home mom...but I know she loved Richard Gere...moving on....I'll never forget the first time I watched Pretty Woman where my mother didn't cover my eyes and I saw the sexy and debonair Richard Gere/ Edward in all his masculine glory! What a sight to behold....on that piano....

    Oh ummmmmmm.....sorry what were we talking about??,,,,*clears throat* Well I believe there is two perverts here, yet I've always been perverted I just have a knack at hiding it well...

    I'll also add getting you a piano when my private jet picks you up when I finally meet Christian....

    Miss Vain @ Miss Vain's Paranormal Fantasy a fan of waxing and trimming all the brushes!

  18. To: Miss Vain
    From: Sawesome
    Subject: 50 on Twitter

    I could not believe Christian Grey followed me on twitter. And I asked him how many balls.lol I have problems. I was curious those, they never really specified that in the books.lol

    And YAY about the piano. I too have always had a perv side, but I must say the book makes it so much more "appropriate" to talk about all the perv like things. I often threaten my friend Amber now that if she doesn't do what I say I will spank her.lol That is normal thing for friends to threaten right?

    Sawesome asks inappropriate questions to strangers on twitter.

  19. Well as someone who uses "butt plugs" fairly often, I agree it would be nice to call them something else. But I have to say when you're shoving it in your ass and it passes the maximum stretch part, the feeling is amazing. Let me tell you.

    Here's a question for you. I write erotic short stories and want to know what is beat to call a woman's privates. Vagina is so clinical, and most women don't want to read the P word.

  20. If you like mommy porn with a vampire twist, check out this book I just read "Sin City Vampire Mom" where the heroine Cynthia gets kidnapped in the 1950s, turned into a vampire and then spends her life trying to recreate the family she had to abandon. She also realizes in the 1960s that she can live by having sex because blood is hard to come by and she thinks it's gross, but now she is married and has to go through everyday trying not to get caught being an adulteress while dealing with her blood cravings, being a wife and raising teenage girls. It's Sex and the City meets Desperate Housewives meets Bewitched, sexy but also very "mommy", I loved it!

  21. Okay, so I'm a little late on this review (only by 16 days over a year!). I initially came here to find out something about the second and third book, and I suppose a few of the words I looked up matched your page. Not a big deal or anything. Just explaining how I got here.

    Anyways, I have to say I'm quite mixed about your review on this subject. Although, that is mostly because I can't stand the 50 Shades books. Granted I've only read the first, but as a person who has been in a D/s lifestyle for many years, I have some very big issues with it. Mostly what bothers me is that, thanks to a new trend, BDSM has become more "acceptable" in the modern world, as opposed to the "perversion" most of us who dabble in it are familiar with. Yes, S&M is considered a perversion, and we are perfectly fine with that. It thins out the crowd. Well, I guess it did.

    Another thing I would like to point out is that I felt the book (again, the first one) did not get across the role of the Dom or the sub very well at all. There is more to a D/s relationship than simply "I command, you obey". What bothers me the most about it is that this is what a lot of people are taking from it. All they see is, omg, some dark handsome man/woman to submit to and have their way with me, how hot is that?!?!?! It's not like that at all.

    I am a sub, and my role with my Master is to make him happy. In doing so, it makes me happy to know that it's because of what I am doing. My Master's role is to make sure I am safe mentally, emotionally, and physically. It requires a level of being truly naked that most people simply cannot understand thanks to the undesired thought of being so vulnerable.

    Like any relationship, a Dom/sub couple is no different. It's a matter of push and pull. One cannot exist without the other, and despite what many people say and think, the sub is no less than the Dom.

    There was part in the book that made me smile, because in this sense, Chistian Grey is completely correct. Everyone thinks the Dom is the one in charge. Wrong. The sub is the one who has ultimate control. If the sub says no at any point, the Dom -HAS- to stop to keep that trust from breaking.

    Anyways, that's my little rant. Sorry if any of this comes across as offensive.


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